You know sometimes we sing songs and i;m sure many of you know the song " from the inside out " 

it goes " the art of losing myself in bringing You praise". 

I feel sometimes we sing songs we don't even mean. i know its been preached on saturday but i really wanna emphasize on this. 

We love God its true. I know alot of us do. 

But honestly, how many really love Him in actions. 

I'm putting this because its been a mistake i made alot of times. not because i'm trying to find fault with ppl. 

when we say we lose ourselves. do you calculate how much you are going to surrender to God? 

what in your head you go " alright i think 90% will do". but thats not God wants. He wants all of it. bad good whatever. it doesn't matter. it doesn't matter how out of tune you go. how many people think you are retarded. you know smth becky i really admire you sometimes. because alot of times i feel the same way as you but somehow i just dun wanna express it. 

and another thing also is letting God work through us and in us. the song also goes " consume me from the inside out" 

and that means to have God inside you and living through you. 

You know what reuben " you are totally retarded!!! " i got my whole class saying that to me everyday. you know what thats just not it. even my teachers say so. even my neighbourhood says so. but let them say what they want because i want to be the type of worship that goes " any time and anywhere " i'm not saying in cinemas u suddenly jump up and start singing lah -.- but you can always start in your heart because in the first place thats where worship starts. 

and if we can do that... i can promise you you will be starting a revolution. its like giving the signal to start a war. a war we know we are going to win. if we can do that and lose ourselves for God your entire character is changed to something else. 

sometimes in ministry we are wondering like " oh man why everybody crying and falling and everybody is like looking so touched by God but me " 

the truth is.. the only reason why you would feel that way is because you are focusing on the wrong thing... you are so focused on getting touched by God in that certain way you want it. so focused on falling down to look like as if u got the biggest touch of all by God that you forgot to focus on worshipping God. Take note people... in my deeper level of ministry... and its not just deeper. In fact, its my deepest. In my deliverance... i did not even scream... i did not vomit.. i did not even cry... i did nth but stand there and that moment itself i was changed. sounds like nothing. but inside its completely something else. thats the ministry you should be desiring and thats the ministry you must not focus on too much but worshipping God first. 

yup this is all i wanna say. hope its not too chim ><